Friday, September 28, 2012

I wait
In a silent room
As they whisper around me, 
Pretending to grieve
these ghosts of my future
Promising a better tomorrow
Hush, little baby
I don't want to hear their lullaby
I had rather have nightmares
than not dream of him at all...

I wait
In the dark room
as they move around me
doing their silent dance
the ghosts of my past
celebrating my demise
I had dared to move on
I had dared to be happy
They curse me
I shut my ears
I had rather burn in misery
than wish I hadn't met him at all...

I wait
gathering myself up in my arms
had he been here
he would have known the right thing to say
he would have known 
how to drive these ghosts away...
I can still feel his breath on my neck
his hands on my back
and his lips on my face
I wait
not for him to return
but to take time
to preserve his memory
forever in my heart...


He said, for a little while more
His lips quivering as he yearned to get his story out
his lips dry, his pain etched on every inch of his face
I try to get it out
try to skin him, until I can bleed the poison out
that rests deep in his veins
thick as the lava that burns my heart
as I watch him sit there, helpless.

He begs off me
spilling his tears on my dress
as I run my hands through his hair,
assuring and reassuring
I am not going anywhere
How could I?
Knowing that my existence
depends on him and him alone

He tells me how he came to be this way
this broken tree, shattered by the lightening
cursed by the wind
as I hold his hand
and he holds on to me, for his roots
and his fruits, and all his foliage
My tears healing his wounds,
while his burn my yellow flesh
like acid, 
soon it will be me in his arms,
but until then, I will hold him together
whatever it takes...

The Phoenix...

He walks through the yellow streets
alone, for him the world is empty
gasping for air, holding his breath
he dives, escaping the commotion
off the cliff, where his self had echoed
only minutes before
he dives, away from himself 
dodging his own voice
into free fall...
His fingers, his toes, all spread out
every inch of him feels the silent wind
and as he falls, he hears them whispering
for the last time
before he drowns...
And then a tiny splash before the river takes him in
His outstretched arms, 
his white torso and his round toes,
and everything around him becomes too quiet
and in that place, he knows what he is,
as his body cools down and his spirit starts burning 
hotter than fire, in blue flames
he sees it all, as he loses himself in the current
away from the shore, slowly drowning
And for a second, he actually considers death
easy as it is, but when he looks at his arms, 
and he looks at his toes,
and he thinks of all that he is, in this second
as every bit of him feels revived,
for the first time, he feels alive.
And he comes up, in all his glory,
more beautiful than he has ever been.
The phoenix, rising from his own ashes, 
brighter than ever before!